Adunke Olatunji
MUCH as it is prevalent and uncontrollable, it has lived time immemorial with us. Losing one’s partner has never been so easy but confirmation of one the Incidences of being a mortal. No one lives forever in this World. An end must surely come even for both living and non-living things.
Human being is characterised by the presence of spirit, soul and body thereby communing in these forms is peculiar irrespective of status.
Widowhood is categorized into three distinct stages: Grief, Growth and Grace. The emphasis depends on how you can apply any of these to the situation.
Psychologically, losing a long-term spouse can cause symptoms such as depression, anxiety, and feelings of guilt. Physical illness may also occur as the body exerts more vulnerability to emotional and environmental stressors however, growth can be tapped into by activating the grace.
Widowhood is a situation that creates a consciousness in the psychology of the victims. It registers and renders the mind in a subjective debacle to occupy a rigid stance. Once erected in this belief, the way to liberation and fulfilment could be cumbersome. Whatsoever lingers in the mind affects the body and invariably the being. Situations both favourable and otherwise may come but the tendency to accept it elongates its survival to wittingly control one’s activities.
As a widow or widower, there are lots of things you can engage to dislodge your mind from rehearsing the sad events that keeps you disadvantaged in the world you are created as an epicure.
Training your mind on how to put the past behind is very essential and a great way to relieve from past failure or catastrophe. Keep your gaze on the initial goals as set out from onset as you explore available opportunities to achieve them. This gets your subconscious mind free from the arrest of the past that can hold your future in ransom. Break loose!
The Biblical Job’s story is very instructive and applicable in this instance. Despite losing all Job was of the opinion that “my Redeemer lives” depicting the fact that even though I am stripped of all I had still, I will press on and get better things. Everyone cannot be Job but can draw a similitude of this figure of hope and faith. Remember what you belief will be your lot.
Another bailout and way of setting yourself free from the cocoon of this ugly incidence is to see the opportunities available for you to activate. How long do you persist to mourn? When you accept the nomenclature of a widow it simply means your mourning period continues. Darkness and light cannot exist simultaneously hence you experience an eclipse which can only be related to the solar system and not man. You cannot be joyful at the same time be sorrowful. It is inscrutable one must dominate. What you allow in your mind rules your thinking and actions. Set your agenda clearly by exploring and exploiting what you have in kitty. Man has always been there to render assistances in varying degrees to cushion a fellow man deplorable circumstances.
Open your mind to various challenges that activate your strengths and boost your energy. Doing it only the way you like might impede vigorous success but also push beyond the boundary by trying new and unbelievable things could achieve astounding success. Imagine a widow feeding a stranger with only food item left in the house during a famine. She neither have money nor anyone who could give her but it was the alternative she could do.
Above all, widow’s overarching need: to feel safe and secure as she unbolts from the grips of widowhood.