A famous relationship analyst once said, “a successful and healthy marriage is more valuable than most of the temporal things we chase after with our lives. And will always last longer”. Obviously, there is no special key to building a strong relationship than determination. It begins with determining to bring out the best in the relationship against all odds. This is because, a marriage brings two persons with different backgrounds and philosophy to merge as one. Hence, there’s tendency there will be some differences. But how to manage the differences makes the difference.
Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” This is the best way to describe love. Though, it requires two bodies, but the hearts of the two bodies must work together as one. That is where love doesn’t work for those that see themselves as partners with defined boundaries. To become successful in a relationship, the two partners must become friends, and not partners. Otherwise, conflicts may likely appear often. Go beyond being partners but friends.
Then, the most important key to becoming strong friends in a relationship is communication. Healthy marriage partners communicate freely and as much as possible. They are certainly gist-mates or gist-partners. They discuss everything, everything and everything. They talk about hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. They don’t just discuss only important issues like partners in a business world which would always have scopes and limits. Don’t keep some issues away from your partner.
This key is indispensable and cannot be overemphasized because natural and regular communication births intimacy which is the backbone of any robust relationship. Intimacy creates familiarity, closeness, affection and respect. Of course, it spontaneously puts teamwork in motion. Partners in any relationship must see themselves as two bodies but on heart, one soul. This is because the soul is the arena for love and relationship, and has just little to do with the body. The moment the souls are beeping for each other, a strong relationship is in motion.
Empathy is another way to measure a healthy relationship. That is bringing the Golden Rule in your relationship, “do unto your partner as you would have done unto you”. The golden rule goes beyond sympathy but empathy. Where there is empathy, no partner would expect or demand special considerations you’d be unwilling to offer in return to the other. This will of course include ensuring a fair division of household duties and other tasks considering that the other partner is also human. In the best relationships, each person cares as much about the other as about themselves.
Thus,good partners must work assiduously to strengthen closeness as well as spend time together. Relate with your partner respectfully both when alone and in public. Respect them even when you’re disagreeing. Listen without judgment. Accept them as they are, and don’t try to change them, but help them to change in or with love. Focus on your partner’s strengths and cultivate a high opinion of them. Instead, appreciate and express it by touching regularly. Work it out by creating a world of love. It doesn’t come on its own.