A heart that whispers back in affection: A must read!

By Carl Umegboro

Plato, an Athenian philosopher and founder of Platonic School of Thought is famous by his remarks, “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet”.

Although, Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual part doesn’t come in, however the discourse is holistic; x-raying non-romantic and sexual relationships. Most often, people start relationship in wrong ways particularly without knowledge of what it entails, and end up abusing it. In many cases, end up heartbroken on account of inharmoniousness and insignificant issues.

The beautiful attribute of love is that it doesn’t have rules or formula. It could kick start from a mere chat. But importantly, it grows by continuous communication beyond any other things. It is arguable that the firmest means of building a robust relationship is continuous communication. Good friends communicate a lot not necessarily only when important things happen. The moment this is in motion, the hearts are instinctively touching each other even in distance. This is why distance relationship can still sour without proximity albeit not ideal.

It is irrefutably weird to frustrate the power of love, thereby pursuing shadows and enthroning inferiority complex in their relationships. In fact, love is the most powerful force on earth. Yeah, love is magnitude. Love makes people feel attracted to each other independent of statuses, spots and other factors. In other words, love has no limits and its force will rarely be overwhelmed when in motion except when largely cosmetic.

In truth, when the oomph of love takes its course, one could find himself behave silly in the estimation of others. This applies to both genders. Anyone in love should be counted fortunate because not all has experienced the full force of love, and until that happens, love will remain strange to them. The striking attribute of love is that it has the capacity to heal old wounds over and over, and erase any negativity that doesn’t yield fruits.

Significantly, love is a force of nature. No doubt, one can open the door for love but cannot dictate how, when and where it expresses itself. This is the reason we have many that self-confessed, “I merely intended to have a quickie but ended up falling in deep love”.  Over this, many have found themselves loving someone they ordinarily wouldn’t have desired by those unrealistic specifications. Yeah, when love strikes, it’s usually irresistible, but above all, gives ecstasy and fulfillment along the line.

Helen Keller once said, “Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same” while Khalil Gibran stated, “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit”. Absolutely, these are precise.

The heart is like a garden, and the same way gardens are cherished to produce desired harvests and fruits, so is love nurtured in the heart. While the physical garden may be situate in your estate, love resides in the hearts. When nurtured well, it produces fulfillment but when otherwise, grief occurs. Hence, when the heart which shelters it is broken without remedy, the love vanishes from those hearts.

Thus, when someone loves you overpoweringly, it is expedient to nurture the love and reciprocate with positivity. The reason is that someone that loves you uncontrollably can also hate you unbelievably when the heart is broken. For example, a beautiful mirror converts to a dangerous weapon when broken. So, guide the heart. It’s fragile. No doubt, love doesn’t keep record of wrongs, but human nature does. That’s the conflict of interest always in existence.  

Hence, play your roles including embracing elegance, self-confidence, and liveliness. Of course, taking care of yourself is nonnegotiable. Let the beauty inside of you radiate outside if yet to be revealed. Obviously, the internal beauty is the engine room of any enviable relationship. With the consciousness that everything God made is beautiful, live confidently as if you’re the most beautiful on earth. Of course, to God, you are. He made everyone unique, matchless and original.

So, always be mindful that you’re the most alluring creature for someone somewhere, and to locate the ‘someone’, you have been equipped with the tool you need; the love in your heart. Allow the beauty inside of you to radiate outwards. That’s resilient and irresistible than makeups. Let the internal beauty showcase your real you. Whatever that can be perceived with eyes are usually dependent of circumstances.

A popular quote says, “A smile is the most beautiful curve on a woman’s body.” This is the truth and nothing but the truth. Quite a number of ladies devote enormous time on how to look good. Unfortunately, they focus on molding their curves to perfection. Of course, nothing is wrong with wanting to improve one’s overall appearance, but in doing so, integral parts must be given preeminence. Smile is indeed the most beautiful expression in the world.

Many have taken the love that exists in their relationship for granted by being insensitive, recalcitrant and unreasonably selfish and arrogant, and ended up destroy the love in their heart. Love operates from both ends and not one-sided. And this is the reason the happiness of the other partner must be as important as yours if not more.  Thus, making the other partner happy is paramount.

Incidentally, many have misconceptions when it comes to the partner’s happiness. Some often boldly say “I am not here to please anyone. I have my life to live”. Nay, you are to please someone though not stupidly. In fact, some at the beginning of relationships shortlist ‘dos and don’ts’, thereby dictating to love how it operates. But think about it, how many of such relationships survived with the litany of rules. This is absurd as far as love is concerned. To allow love to have its way, submit to it, and let the other partner’s happiness be prime.

The ability to stop your partner from doing whatever in mind at a material time and still pleased is the greatest attribute in a spouse. If by coercion, it is not in love. Arbitrariness has no place in love but mutual understanding. For example, a partner may demand for what is unobtainable at a time, but that must not lead to abuses but persuasion in love. Of course, it could be a wish to abstain until nuptially knotted while the guy is likely eager to have a taste, hence a conflict of interest, nonetheless, what is important is how the lady handles the situation.

Sensibly, for any creative mind, there could be a resistance with affection and encouragement, thereby creating a great opportunity of ecstasy out of a calamity. That’s maturity and empathy. To destroy a relationship over feelings or uncomfortable demands from a partner is unhealthy. Such a desire which is natural and foreseeable could be leveraged on as an advantage and not a flaw.

Even where a partner seems naughty, with a heart of love, a change is possible. Men in particular cherish self-esteem, hence, adverse characters could be changed without coercion or force. The striking task is to understand that there’s no perfect lover, spouse or friend anywhere but love perfects all things. Most of those that made the blunder of calling a quit to a relationship for a perfect partner never got someone better. You can be that whispering heart!

When conflicts are respectfully handled, such persuasion ends up bonding the two and building trust which is essential in every relationship. Abusive and cantankerous characters destroy relationship without remedy and uproot love from the root. To become a heart that whispers back in affection which is feasible if desired, wisdom, respect for one another and companionship are indispensable.

Umegboro is a prolific writer, public affairs analyst and publisher, CarlUmegboroOnline.   Https:CarlUmegboro.com

Published By: Admin

Hon. CARL UMEGBORO is a legal practitioner (Barrister & Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria and human rights activist. As an advocate of conflict resolution through ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution), he has acquired intensive training and has been inducted into The Chartered Institute of Arbitrators (United Kingdom) as an Associate. He is a prolific writer and public affairs analyst. Prior to his call to Bar as a lawyer, he has been a veteran journalist and columnist in all national newspapers, and has over 250 published articles in various newspapers to his credit. Barrister Umegboro is also a regular guest-analyst to many TV and radio programme on crucial national issues. He can be reached through: (+234) 08023184542, (+234) 08173184542 OR Email: umegborocarl@gmail.com

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